Why don’t we believe in ourselves?
Self belief. Is it something you think you have or do you notice self belief in others?
This was evidenced for me in my first session with a new client, an attractive, highly competent individual who has been successful in her current job, attained a standard of living any one of us would envy…yet lacked the self belief to make happen what her heart desired. She was seeking clarity about why she behaves the way she does, what she should do with her time, how she can find fulfillment, why her pot is always half empty instead of half full, why her thoughts are negative…in essence why she didn’t believe in herself.
We started the session with a simple tool, the wheel of life, using eight categories (these can range from happiness to money to relationship to career) which she chose, that reflected where she was in the here and the now; not yesterday, not where she would like to be, but now. I asked the question – ‘on a scale of 1 (being low) and 10 (being high) how do you rate each category, which we then marked on the wheel – such a simple tool yet so effective – particularly when drawn on a flip chart in large letters so that the visual effect is distinctive.
We looked at each category and gave them a number from 1-10; how she felt and thought about each in that very moment, a snapshot of her state. If you’ve ever played Trivial Pursuit you’ll know exactly what I’m describing – a wheel with eight wedges. We then drew a line at the point where each number stood on the wedge, for example a ‘5’ would be halfway down the wedge. and then highlighted the path from each score which created her circle,linking the numbers together to see how bumpy or smooth the ride would be with her current thinking if she tried to balance on her wheel.
Bumpy isn’t the word. More like impossible.
We talked in depth about each category and ascertained what exactly was her heart’s desire, and applied it to the wheel. ‘So, if you had that in your life, how would you feel about’…and checked her new state against each category. Eureka. She shed a tear. It was all so simple. She had the answer herself but it took visualisation and a pictorial image of her beliefs for this to be realised.
I received fabulous feedback… ‘it was a really fantastic meeting with you today, I came away feeling very positive – thank you!’
What does your heart tell you to do and could this tool help you? You can learn more about how I’ve helped others if you look at my case study section or give me a call to discuss your concerns.